Humor in the Market

Here are some light moments and a small story on the working of stock markets collected from various internet websites.

“Markets are the places where two types of people meet up in the morning: those with experience and those with money. Towards the end of the day, they exchange their assets and go home.”

How many stockbrokers does it take to change a light bulb? My God! It burnt out!! Sell all my G.E. stock NOW!!!”

Two, One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out).

How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?  None! The market has already discounted the change!

1. Why couldn’t the Day traders agree where they meet to get together?    A. They all wanted to keep their Options open until the last minute.

A man went to his broker and said, ‘I’d like to make a million quickly. How do I go about it?’    ‘Simple,’ said the bank manager. ‘Start with two millions and wait.’

Once upon a time a man and his assistant came to a village, and announced to the villagers that they would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, knowing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought all their monkeys at $10 each and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He then announced that he would now buy at $20. This further excited the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished again. This time the man increased the offer to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was rare to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city for a few months for some business, his assistant would take care of the business. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers; “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

(Contributed by Jitender Yadav)